The best advice I received before our first baby was born: put your spouse first.

The hardest advice to follow after having children: put your spouse first.

The Hubby and I are completely on board with this advice, but putting these words into action is much more difficult than either of us ever thought!

I’m not an expert at prioritizing my spouse, but there are a few VERY simple things we do to make sure the boys know our husband-wife relationship if the most important in the house, second only to our relationship with God…

1. We try to set aside some time for just The Hubby and I to talk while the kids are awake, especially after he gets home from work. The boys are not allowed to interrupt {unless someone is bleeding, which is entirely possible in a house of boys}, and it is a chance for them to see communication with one another as a priority to us! We know of a couple who have 15 minutes of talk time on the couch as soon the husband arrives home from work. The children know to find something else to do during this time!

2. The Hubby has always been good about telling the boys at bedtime that it is now “Mommy and Daddy time.” It’s a small thing, but it demonstrates to them that we enjoy spending time with each other and make it a priority!

3. I like to ask The Hubby what he would like for dinner when I am menu planning. Prioritizing is not always about time, but about wants and needs as well. The Hubby is not usually home for lunch and I want dinner to be an enjoyable meal for him. Plus, if I made what the kids wanted all of the time, we would get bored VERY fast!

None of these activities are hard. None of them take much time. All of them will show your children that your spouse is your priority without making them feel like second-class citizens.

In fact, I think children feel more loved in a family environment where the parents are correctly prioritizing one another!

But there are not just children – there is the rest of life to balance as well…

Does your spouse come before your hobbies? the housework? your online time?

I can’t honestly answer yes to that every day. And because time can be such a gray area, it is easy to make little choices here and there that gradually put your spouse on the back burner.

I am challenging myself and you to not let this slow fade happen! Prioritize your spouse’s needs and wants. Prioritize time with your spouse. And watch as it strengthens your family as a whole!


Family Tie #9: The way you spend your time reflects your priorities, so take a look at your daily life and calendar. Look for ways to put your spouse as a higher priority in your life. Share in the comments one thing you will do this week to put your spouse first! For more inspiration for your marriage, spend some time over at Women Living Well and The Unveiled Wife – great encouragement!


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