I talked yesterday about conditioning ourselves to say no to activities and commitments outside of our homes that negatively affect our families.
Today, we need to working on saying YES.
Somewhere in my parenting journey, the word NO became the most used part of my vocabulary. It became my default answer when the boys asked to do something. And most of the time I had no real reason to say no to what they were asking.
I should say I had no GOOD reason to say no. I would make excuses to the boys about why we couldn’t do such-and-such, but I was really just masking my laziness or selfishness.
I am not advocating for our children to get everything they want, but rather for us as parents to get out of any auto-parenting mode that may have us saying no to anything our children suggest that is time-consuming, difficult, silly, or out of the norm!
My blogging friend {and MOB Society writer} Jessica from Bohemian Bowmans was a major reason I realized just how much I say no to my children. She wrote about this very topic earlier this year and even started a link-up to help motivate parents to say YES more often to the things their children ask them to do.
I needed this wake-up call desperately. I’m pretty sure I have sounded like the meanest mom in the world, saying no to countless requests from my children each day…
Can we play this game?
Can I show you what I built?
Can we have a movie night?
None of these things would kill me if I said yes! In fact, they all sound pretty fun when I write them down here! In the moment, however, I am usually convinced these requests are getting in the way of what NEEDS to be done or what I NEED to do.
And in the moment, I am also usually wrong.
I NEED to say yes more. I NEED to enjoy the things my children want to share and do with me. And as I sit here writing this, I also realize I WANT to say yes more!
Yes just might be the most meaningful word I say to my children today.
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Family tie #3: Say yes to your children as much as possible today! Keep a “yes” list and share some of your favorites here later today! And ENJOY the blessing of relationship-building with your children that comes from each yes!
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I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
Good reminder!
I can relate. I find myself cringing now when I say “no” too many times in a row. Most of the time, all they really need to get a yes is for a few minutes of mom’s time to show them the ropes.
I think I read that other blog post about saying yes. This was a good reminder. Thanks!
lol…I have a “Be a “yes” mom” post in my queue right now 🙂 For all the same reasons. There are so many times that I say “no” simply because I don’t want to put forth the effort, or because “that’s now how we do it.” or it would otherwise just be out of our regular day (like randomly eating dinner outside…although I was inspired that day, and said “yes” to that one).
I think each “yes” is building happy memories for our children, and try to be a “yes” mom when possible.
Funny this should be today’s topic. Just yesterday I was thinking that I need to say yes more, especially to my middle child. I think I need a big banner in my kitchen (or somewhere else obvious, maybe tattooed on my kid’s foreheads) that says “SAY YES!”.
Have you heard of the book “Yes Day”? Its about a boy who has one day a year in which his parents say yes to every thing he asks. It’s really cute -and a great reminder that life can be fun when you get creative and say yes to things you normally would say no to.
I like saying yes. It makes me the “cool mom”. 🙂
I was going to suggest the Yes Day! Book too! Good reminder, Erin. I am exactly the same- my default answer is no. An older mom advised me recently to say yes as much as possible. Again, not to let them do or say whatever they want, but most of their little requests are easy to say yes to. And she also advised me to not heap any guilt on- like saying, “Yes, but I’ll have to leave these dishes to come see your tower.” Or “well, we have a super busy day and I guess I can squeeze in some time to play outside.” Just say YES (or if the answer is really no, then you can explain).
Thank you for making this one of the 31 days. I need to be reminded of this all the time because I tend to be one of those moms that says no just out of habit. I did say yes last night to game night and it was so fun….made me wonder why i don’t always say yes to their fun ideas!
YES!
Boy can I relate to this post! I most definitely NEEDED to read this post too. I am the worst for never saying yes and just like you I have no good reason why I say no. No just sounds better I guess. I want that to stop tho. I’m going to start saying “yes” more…even if it drives me bonkers. Maybe then my son will want to ask me more things b/c he won’t assume the answer will be no. 🙂
Yes!! If I need to decline permission for them to do something, I give them 3 ideas of things they CAN do. That’s 3 Yeses 🙂
This is a very good reminder. I have an (almost) 2 year old and I don’t even think I can count the number of times I have to tell him no during the day. Saying yes should be a welcomed change. Sometimes it just requires telling myself and my own to-do list no.
Can’t wait to follow along with your series!
I’m loving your words of wisdom and encouragement. These gentle reminders you are giving are getting me through this week!!!
SUCH a good reminder! It is so easy to get focused on the “important” or “urgent” and forget the whole point of being home with them…
btw- I lOVE the font on your graphic! To close the beginning and ending letters, you hit SHIFT+6 or the “^” symbol. : )
Ooh! Good tip! I will have to try that! Thanks!
I have realized that no is the first thing that pops into my mind when I’m asked something by my kids. I’ve had to work hard to keep it from popping out of my mouth! But the effort has been worth it, as I’ve seen my kids more willing to talk to me knowing that no won’t automatically be the answer!
No is also my go to answer! I grew up in a family that didn’t allow for you to put the parent on the spot, if you did the answer was no. And because I am so much of a planner, saying yes is hard sometimes. But by saying yes to certain things my kids want, I see how much fun it is for them, or the joy on their face when they ask again and say really, we can?! Here’s to saying yes!