We’ve had a lot of fun as a family since the move and while The Hubby is home before residency starts. Numerous zoo trips, sprayground visits, a fabulous family vacation, and lots of backyard fun – lots of great memories have been made!
We’ve also had our fair share of minor battles involving the children and behavior during this time.
I wrote most of these challenges off as a result of lots of change happening in our lives, but in reality, a lot of the blame is on my shoulders. And I didn’t even do anything.
Which is exactly the problem.
The move happened. Summer came. We all decided to relax. Maybe a little too much. And, as I’ve mentioned before, these boys flounder without structure.
Instead of remembering this truth and figuring out a way to change things and make this time good for everyone, I just let myself get more frustrated with their behavior. And their behavior went downhill.
Whining, arguing, disobedience, disrespect…
My blood pressure has always been on the low side, but I’m pretty sure that would not have been the case these last few weeks had I been checked.
About a week ago, I realized the whole connection between lack of structure and poor behavior – and I still didn’t do anything about it. NO excuses – I was just being lazy. {True confessions for you right now.}
Now, with The Hubby going back to work this Sunday, I’m kicking my behind in gear and doing what my boys need to be successful. What I should have been doing all along.
I’m seizing the day.
I’m taking control of the day before it get the best of me and the kiddos. I’m taking this role of family manager by the horns and showing it who’s the boss! {Just giving myself a pep talk!}
What does seizing the day look like for me?
*Getting out of bed before the kids whenever possible, even if the baby was up several times in the night. If I can be up even fifteen minutes before they do, I feel like I have a bit of a head start! And spending that time with God makes it even better. Time with Him in the morning is the ULTIMATE way to seize the day!
*Planning my day. Even a rough outline of the day can help me stay on track. I get off track VERY easily! Where do we need to go? When does everyone need to eat and nap?
*Planning activities for the boys. This is where I’ve stumbled the most. And it really isn’t that hard. I mean, come on, I have a whole Pinterest board of things “For the Boys!” I should be able to plan activities for them every day until they graduate! I just need to FOLLOW THROUGH. {Ugh. Still working on that.}
*Taking charge as soon as behavior starts to go downhill – or catching the warning signs before it starts! The boys need some time apart from each other as much as they need structure and I can usually tell when they’ve had “too much” of each other! I need to find creative ways to separate them that don’t feel like punishment BEFORE the whining and fighting starts!
*And lastly, having fun WITH my children! Our boys desperately want our attention ALL THE TIME, so why am I not giving it to them more?! Yes, there are lots of things that must be done around the house, but I know my time with them is more valuable than my time with the vacuum and laundry!
And for a little extra help, I just need to watch this video every morning…
What could you do to seize each day and make it even better for you and/or your family?
LOVE This song from Newsies 😀 And we’ve noticed the same things with our vacations and summer breaks – which is why this year, when we’re at home, we’re still doing some school and keeping a semi-normal routine – and taking breaks when we need to! Makes a world of difference! I need to get on my pinterest boards too, lots of great ideas out there, I just need motivation!
Hey Erin! I know we talked about this a little bit the other day and I could sense your frustration. If your kids are anything like mine…they need structure and need/want to know what is coming up. We do best with the planned out days. Some days are more relaxed than others….and some days it would be easy to tell them to go watch tv all day…but I keep reminding myself…I am here at home to take care of them…to be their activities coordinator in a sense. My summer BINGO game have made our lulls become productive activities. I try to save my cleaning, folding laundry etc until our quiet time…or I have them help…which they love. Hang in there…enjoy your summer…use your pinterest boards:)
Great post, one that I could have written a few days ago, and that I wrote after Christmas break. Structure is MUCH better for us! Sharing!
Yes to this! My boys have been wild creatures without our school schedule. And it’s because of my laziness!
PS: I love Newsies!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I am so with you in this, almost every word. Thank you for the encouragement to do what I know I need to do. 🙂
So beautiful friend O mine. We’re living the same life. Well, except that my hubby isn’t a doctor, and we didn’t just move, or have a baby. Just goes to show that this stuff you talked about…it’s “on the daily” stuff.
Well done 🙂
Oh, I completely relate. We also had a major move and so many transitions in the past year that I’ve let myself focus too much on packing and unpacking and cleaning. But I’ve also been a totally lazy mom. I desperately need to play with my children more and get back to a good routine so they’ll feel important and loved – and not so starved for attention.
This is just what I needed to read today. My boys are driving me nuts! I keep excusing their behaviour because we are distracted by house renos, finances, work… but I really do need to seize the day and work with what we’ve got on the go. Thanks for the encouragement
I totally agree with the structure. Our kids have a harder time and get on each others nerves without it and me too! Summer is hard without a plan. My hubby mentioned to me about having a daily schedule for the kids and I did it for a week after they came home from their morning only camps. They LOVED it! Checked our white board to see what was on the schedule for the afternoon. He was right and we all benefited from the “plan”. We had fun the kids knew what was coming up for them and the afternoons were great! I am going to stop being lazy and plan our days again! Thank you for all the great input!!
Happy Summer!
Thank you for this. God has speaking to my heart regarding this. My oldest son is 3 and I feel like since he was born we have been in the middle of something major that required so much of our attention and I feel he has missed out on ME. I have lacked the energy necessary to do all of the things I needed to be doing. Poor kid, we started his life with a move back from overseas, followed by me getting cancer, then in the middle of that fight, we were surprised with a very hard, very high risk pregnancy, followed by a sick baby, post partum depression, and an emergency appendectomy just 10 days before my husband left for a six month deployment that we are currently in the middle of..I feel like I am just now getting on my feet! But I am determined with the Lord’s help to get on the ball this week! This is my week and your post was just the final encouragement I needed. Thank you!!
This is so true! My days are much better when I get up before the little ones and enjoy a cup of coffee while reading my Bible. Being intentional about our time together helps me truly enjoy being a SAHM. Thanks for a great post!
So good erin!
I’m totally w/ ya…I have to stop and ask myself often the WHY of the boys’ behavior…and usually I am to blame. And the truth is, they’re all happier when there are firm boundaries in place.
And of course the FUN–a huge key. Way to go!
God bless as you begin residency…I’m here if you need me…:)
aloha!
Yes! This definitely describes my boys! I’ve been trying to keep some semblance of a routine and it helps for sure!
See, I always knew we were kindred spirits: NEWSIES!!!! My fave!
This is such a great post, Erin. The problem for me is when I realize that it’s partially MY fault and I’m just too overwhelmed, too tired or seemingly too-far-gone to start over.
Thanks for the reminder to SEIZE THE DAY!
a
So, we’re still doing kinda good… as in, my boys aren’t tired of being together yet… but it will come soon! I’m sure! This is only our first week of holiday! So glad I read your post…and this post has her own daily schedule that i love! It’s rigid- but do-able I think!
http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/2012/06/our-summer-schedule.html#