So many of the thoughts associated with “having” it all have to do with appearances. And isn’t that how we tend to judge things? We see something and take it at face value, never bothering to investigate any further. We are really living our lives with a lot of assumptions about other people’s lives based on how things look.
The reader survey I did a few weeks back proved that connection between what we see and what we think…
What words come to mind when you hear the phrase “having it all?”
- appearances
- beautiful house
- fit + attractive husband
- great looks
- adorable children
We look at the lives of others, see what we see, and decide that surface looks good, so they MUST have a great life.
The comparison game is most prevalent in this arena of appearances. We tend to sugarcoat the lives of others based on appearances, while beating down our own lives based on what we see, which is a lot more messy and real.
Our public facades are all shiny, blemish-free, and one-dimensional because that’s what we do when we are out and about – we dress up, do our hair, wipe everyone’s faces clean, and smile like our life depends on it. But then we see somebody else doing the same thing and suddenly, the reality of our own lives is just not good enough.
This problem is only magnified by the world of social media where we always put our best faces forward. I may post about Big J memorizing some Scripture or a fun field trip we took, but you’re not seeing the diaper blowout or mommy yelling fit that broke out when the toys were STILL not picked up. Social media is a breeding ground for envy and discontent because it is full of all the good-looking stuff of our lives.
As this series gets rolling, can I challenge you to not let the appearances of others be your measuring stick for “having it all?” Don’t judge the book by the cover, because if you looked inside, you might not really like what it takes to have all the things.
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
Amen, sister! Comparison breads discontent. :S
So good, and so true! Water your own grass to make it greener!
YES! Amen. Someone recently said to me, after looking at my blog, “You must be Super Mom!” Definitetly not- I’m as worn out and impatient as every other mom. I just put the good stuff online!
For me personally, I’ve found that Pinterest feeds into my insecurities about not “having it all.” If I spend too much time I begin thinking things like “Oh, why am I not as creative or well dressed as so and so?” I have to remind myself, like you said, it’s the beautifully made up, perfectly tided facade, not real life, that I’m seeing!
I love the quote that was floating around Pinterest and Facebook for awhile about comparing your blooper reels to everyone else’s highlights. It was a great visual for me – appearances are a dangerous thing to based our own thoughts and decisions on. And discontent always follows pursuing what I see on the surface.
I had a friend who I thought had it all. They had money to spare (or so I thought) her husband was so romantic (or so I thought) and I really was envious of her life. Turns out things were not what they appeared to be at all. Their house was foreclosed on (her husband never even told her until it was already auctioned off). I was judging her life from the outside and wishing it was mine. Now I thank God everyday that I am not facing the days that she is having to endure.