This is a really hard post for me to write because I am not good at this family tie.
And that means it is probably one of the things about our family life I need to work on most.
Ann Voskamp is the one who first made me realize the damage that can be done to a family by constantly rushing here and there.
I see it every time we get ready to go anywhere. I try to plan ahead – I really do. But somehow, I almost always end up rushing everyone out the door, often with harsh words and much tension.
I don’t want us to hurry about anymore.
We are unpleasant to one another in the midst of hurry.
Hurry causes a breakdown in communication and hurts family relationships.
Most of the responsibility for this family tie rests on me. I am the family manager. I schedule our time and activities. If I am not planning our days wisely, everyone suffers.
We talked about margin in regards to outside commitments, but margin must also be present in our day-to-day activities.
I rush us off to the grocery store. I don’t plan well in the time before Bible study and end up yelling as I try to get everyone out the door.
I will take full responsibility for the hurry in our life. And I will take full responsibility for banishing that hurry as well.
For the coming week, I am going to focus on the following things to improve this area of our family life:
1. I will prepare the night before for any outings we may have the next day. Do we need any bags or lunches packed? Any uniforms or swimsuits that need to be cleaned? Is the diaper bag fully stocked?
2. I will put away all distractions when we are getting ready to go somewhere. I will not text or tweet or blog or answer the phone while trying to give directions and get out the door. This ALWAYS complicates the process.
3. I will start the “getting ready” process ten minutes earlier than I would normally think necessary. I am not a good judge of time in general, so I will be grossly OVER-estimating how much prep time we need this week. There are always unexpected complications with young children – a diaper blowout, a shoe-tying crisis, a lost toy. I will be expecting the unexpected and making time for it this week!
4. I will teach the kiddos a routine to follow for every time we leave the house. If you’re like me, I can quickly tire of telling the children to do the same things over and over again as we are trying to get somewhere. This is where the hurry and tension come to a boiling point in my head. A routine for the children could help us all stay on track before our activities and errands! Ours will involve clean-up time, a trip to the bathroom, putting on proper clothing, and asking Mommy or Daddy if there is anything else they need to do. We’ll see how it works!
Today, I am thankful for a day of rest, but I want to banish the hurry from our daily lives and follow these precious words from Ann…
Life is not an emergency.
Life’s a gift.
Just. Slow. Down.
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Family tie #7: Stop rushing from place to place! Make a plan to take the “hurry” out of your family’s life. What causes hurry in your house? What can you do to avoid it? Think of two or three ways you can plan ahead to avoid the rush this week!
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You sound like me trying to get all of our kids out the door…it is a crazy time and I am always relieved to get into the car…and turn on k-love for some positive encouragemnt. I am glad we don’t have somewhere to go everyday though…I am not sure I could take all of the hustle and bustle until the kids are more self dependent.
WOOT! This season we started karate 3x per week AND they moved Awana up an hour. My Wed night was killing me to get kids around, eat sandwiches in the car to drop kids off so we could attend a small group.
Hubs lovingly pointed out how anxious and cranky I was becoming. We decided to say NO to the small group – even though our church pushes being part of a small group — it’s just not working for us.
WOW! This is my first time to visit your blog and it is awesome! Thank you so much for writing this post, it was wonderful!
And you just spoke right to my heart! I have great intentions of a stress free getting out the door time, but usually I am yelling, blaming, getting all sweaty and what not! I am a huge under estimater of time, and it’s all my fault! I always think we have more time then we do. Anyways, great advice and I will totally be slowing down more and preparing better!
It can get really ugly up in here when it’s time to get out the door. You’d think that by now I’d have figured out how much time it takes us to get out the door but I’m like you and underestimate all the time. After reading this I’m thinking I might make up a little poster for our coat closet door of what we need to remember to get out the door. (Shoes on, coat on, potty …) And now I need to get off the computer and get us out the door for church!