This title is a little misleading because, whatever a woman chooses to do, there is work involved.

I actually didn’t really want to write about this topic, but I’ve been saddened by the divide between stay-at-home and working moms and I couldn’t resist any longer.

I’ve been in both situations.

My little Packer fan at about five months ago

I worked for the first two years of Big J’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to be at home. Many of my friends left the workforce at that time to stay home with their babies and my heart ached to be there too.

But the timing and circumstances were not right. And God was still in control.

Big J and Sharon, our amazing daycare provider

We found the most wonderful in-home daycare. I loved my job and my workplace and my co-workers. God even gave me a specific mission while I was there, and it was amazing to be a part of Him moving in that school. And as a teacher, I had my summers off, which was glorious.

Our growing family, one week after Little J was born

When Little J came along, the door was opened to stay home and that is where I have been since.

Maybe you would think that since I love staying at home, this post will be all about why every woman should be at home.

Nope. Not at all.

All I want to say is…

Stop fighting about it. Stop judging other women for their choice to work or not to work. You can be secure in your choice without belittling someone else.

And nobody ever felt loved being told they were wrong.

I just mentioned to the hubby the other day that I felt like I was so much more attentive to Big J when I WAS working. I was so happy to see him at the end of the day and some days, i didn’t want him to go to bed because we were having so much fun!

I read an article when I was first pregnant that discussed this very debate. The issue of quality of time versus quantity of time was widely discussed. And now, having been on both sides, I see exactly what they were talking about.

I know many working women on Twitter who are FABULOUS mothers – I so enjoy reading about the family time and special memories they create when they do get to be with their children. It is beautiful.

I also love reading about the women who spend their days taking care of children and home. I am confident this is where God wants me right now and I am learning to be a better homemaker, wife and mother as I go.

Some of you may disagree, but I don’t see a RIGHT answer here. The situations of families are unique. The leading of the Lord in each woman’s life is unique.

Go ahead and have healthy discussions on this topic, but can we take the “mean girl” aspect out of it, please?

Love the women in your life where they are. You will not “convince” them to change to “your side” by criticizing them.


I know there are women on both sides of this so-called debate that read this blog – I would love to hear your stories of how you came to a decision on this matter!