As we continue through the rest of these 31 Days of NOT Having It All, we’ll be taking an honest look at all the things we don’t really HAVE to have or do, and we’ll be doing this in order to live more fully our role in the body of Christ. Join me as we start chipping away at the extra things crowding our hearts, minds, and to-do lists!
I don’t HAVE to…say yes to every good opportunity.
I can be a people pleaser. And I really like to be included. So quite naturally, when I am asked to do something and lead something or be a part of something, my default answer has usually been yes. Those yeses have seemed like the path to “having it all,” but they have gotten me in WAY over my head often, most of the time leaving my family and home neglected.
I think all of you are talented and smart and wonderful {it’s true – you are}, and with that package, there are bound to be a lot of good things coming your way. You’ll be asked to help with this or contribute to that or go to here or there.
Some of the things will be easy to say no to, but a lot will be stuff you would like to do. Stuff that you are honored to be asked to do. You will really want to say yes…
to that special committee at your child’s school…
to being a contributor to that website you love…
to going to that women’s retreat…
My mind screams “YES!” to all of these because they all sound special and fun, but my heart is starting to learn that lots of good things crowd out the best things God has intended for me.
It is NOT wrong to say yes to any of the things I listed above, but every good opportunity deserves prayer and careful consideration to determine whether or not it is the best of use of the time and talents God has given you.
Even the wonderful things that come our way require time and energy. There will be at least one no that happens somewhere in our lives for every yes we say. As we say yes in the name of having it all, we could end up saying no to our families, our homes, our God-given ministry.
I want to give you permission today to stop chasing “having it all” and using yes as your default. I want for you the same thing I want for myself:
I want to be able to differentiate between the good things and the best things for me and my family at this moment in time.
I pray that God will give me and each of you the wisdom, guidance, and clarity to make these yes/no decisions based solely on His best for us.
Are you a “yes” person or do you find it easy to say no?
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
It is too funny you wrote about this today! For me personally, I struggle to say yes, but maybe I’m in the minority on that. I think, though, our points are very much the same- we want to experience God’s best for our lives, and doing that for me means saying “yes!” more!
I am so a yes person, but I am learning to say no, or really think about it before I say anything. Do you have a checklist {or something similar} that you go through to determine if you say yes or no?
God has been teaching me about this very thing. I’ve been distracted by some very good things lately … and God told me to lay them down.
So many times we don’t have to choose between bad and good, instead we have to choose from among many goods. We need to find the best for us from all the good.
I feel horrible when I can’t help someone or a group out, but getting better because I know I can’t do it all. I am trying to limit our activities….and mine as well. I usually have to bite my tongue when a sign up sheet for a new duty comes around. My most recent case was when I was at a moms group in the area where we are moving to and a sign up sheet came around for moms to host night outs at their houses…we didn’t even have a house yet, nor did I know if we would have one by then…I had to really hold back and with encouragement from a few other moms (to not sign my name on the sheet) I was able to just pass the sheet along. Hard for me to do!
I’m a “yes” person. It’s hard for me to say no, and a lot of the times it’s something I really want to do. But there is only so many hours in the day, and I only have a limited amount of energy. A few years back I read that “when you say no, you are saying yes to something else.” That idea helped me. Now I know that I’m not just saying no to one certain thing, but I’m choosing other important things in my life over that one certain thing.