I wrote this original post back in the spring of 2013, but I have found to it be something I come back to over and over again. God is obviously still getting my attention in this area. If He is working on you in this area as well, know that I am praying for you and for me to overcome in the strength of the Lord. Thank You, Jesus, that Your Word is always with us.
I’m taking this season of Lent to work on holding my tongue and yelling less at the children, and prayer is the major tool I’m turning to for help.
I love to base my prayers on Scripture – nothing better to pray, especially in the heat of the moment, than the Word of God. When I need a quick dose of grace and wisdom, a memorized Scripture or one stored in the prayer app on my iPhone can be just the thing to “talk me down!”
After some conversation on Facebook, it was confirmed for me that parental yelling is a complex, and common, problem. It’s not just about the kids doing something wrong. It’s not just about mom or dad’s anger. There are multiple reasons we raise our voices, so we need multiple prayers to pray for each unique situation!
For an example of how I’ve been praying these verses, let’s take a look at one I’ve prayed for both myself and the boys, Romans 12:18:
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
For myself I prayed: “Jesus, no matter what frustration I may feel with the boys today, help me to live at peace with them as far as it depends on me!”
For the boys I have prayed: “Lord, please help the boys to live at peace with one another {and me} today. Give them the self-control to stay calm when they are frustrated and avoid quarrels with each other.”
The list below is my starting point, as I’m adding new verses all the time! Some of the prayers are for myself – to control my frustration, have more patience, etc. Some of the prayers are for my boys – to help them be better listeners, work diligently, keep the peace with their siblings, and so on.
I hope this list will be a jumping off point for you as well!
For Me
A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them. ~Proverbs 15:18
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. ~Proverbs 15:1
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. ~Proverbs 14:29
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~Colossians 3:17
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29
A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth. ~Proverbs 11:16
You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ~1 Peter 3:4
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ~Romans 12:18
For the Kids
Disobedience
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. ~Colossians 3:20
Help me understand Your instruction, and I will obey it and follow it with all my heart. ~Psalm 119:34
Disrespect
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. ~Titus 3:1-2
Do to others as you would have them do to you. ~Luke 6:31
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ~Philippians 2:3
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ~Romans 12:10
Not Listening
How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. ~Psalm 119:9
Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. ~Psalm 25:4-5
The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. ~Proverbs 12:15
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry… ~James 1:19
Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge. ~Proverbs 19:27
Fighting/Quarreling
A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them. ~Proverbs 15:18
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ~Romans 12:18
Complaining
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29
Do everything without complaining and arguing. ~Philippians 2:14
Laziness
You will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance. ~Hebrews 6:12
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ~Colossians 3:23
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ~Ephesians 5:15-17
Resources for finding verses to pray
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What verses do you pray for yourself or your children when you feel like yelling at them?
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
What a way to honor God and your boys. Thanks for sharing these verses. I haven’t done this in a while but I have Warrior Prayers for Boys and use those to pray for them.
I too have a yelling problem. Funny thing is my boys will catch me and correct me. You know when you tell them to stop yelling by yelling? Yup. God is training me.
Warrior Prayers is one of my faves 🙂
I feel like we’re all going through mommy boot camp and we’ll be training for the long haul – and letting Him doing the training is the best!
Thank you for your kind words, Sara! Saying a prayer for you!
OH HOW I LOVE THIS TIMELY POST!! Thank you for speaking to my heart. I am a mama to three precious (and LOUD/active/Destructive) boys (ages 7, 5, 3) and I admit I do more yelling than ‘conversing’ at times. :sigh: I am a work in progress… and this post popped up in a timely manner! Thank you!
Work in progress – I have a post coming up called that very thing 🙂 Being molded and shaped is a GOOD thing! Thanks for coming by, Rachel!
I very much needed this today (and everyday). Yelling is a pastime that comes into play far too often in my house, and with no results you would think it would be easy to knock-it-off. It certainly comes with layers to uncover, working on that daily. Reminding myself I am not doing this parenting “alone”, nor can I overcome certain issues without God’s help. Thank you.
Oh yes! We are NEVER alone in our parenting when we invite Him into it! I am finding that admitting my weak areas is giving Him so much to work with and I am growing because of it! Praying for you!
BEAUTIFUL reminder that we don’t need to stay who we are and be a Mom in a state of frazzled decay! We need to grow and more what we were created to be! YOU, my friend are growing me! Thank you!
Thank you so much, Rebecca! Love growing alongside you!
thank you for this! I love this post. I, too, want to do We Choose Virtues! But can’t afford it! LOL!
I’m going to be doing a review and giveaway of We Choose Virtues soon, so stay tuned and maybe you’ll win it!
Thank you for this! I have 2 sons, 3 yrs and 9 months. One verse I have been working on with myself is Psalm 19:14 “May these words of my mouth and these meditations of my heart be pleasing to you Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” I need to watch what I say and how I say it because they are both learning, from me, how to respond to people and each other. If I meditate on God’s words and how he forgives me, I am better able to help my sons grow.
Love that one, Elyse! Adding it to my morning daily prayers for myself! Thanks!
Wow. This post is so timely. Thank you for bringing attention to a common but also complex problem. I was tired of feeling like I was all alone on this one. My friends make casual comments about yelling but we never go to the heart of the issue. Thank you, thank you. I’m a mother of three boys and I’m excited about following your blog.
You are definitely not alone! And I’m all about getting to the heart of the problem – no surface band-aids for me! So glad to meet you, Heidi! Fun to connect with another three-boy mama!
Wondering what prayer app you like?
I’m using Prayer Notebook, which was recommended by Ann Voskamp. I tried the free version first and loved it so much I bought the paid app so I could add unlimited prayers to it! And I almost NEVER buy apps!
I had to pin this and share it with our MOPS group here in Germany, it was awesome. I agree the hardest part is stopping to remember God’s words in the heat of the moment. We have Ephesians 4:26-27 (26 “Be angry, and do not sin” do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.) and Proverbs 13:10 (By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom) tacked on the wall on notecards above where the boys have the “sit in the corner”. We try to read them everytime after we say our apologies and let them get up from the timeout. I also have reminders for Myself on there: Proverbs 12:18 (There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing) and Proverbs 12:3 (Noone is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous shall never be moved). Thank you God for your instruction (and notecards!)
That is so awesome, Crissy! I love the idea of having the verses where they can see them in time out! And great verses to use there! Blessings to you, your family, and your MOPS group over in beautiful Germany!
This is my first visit to your blog, and it will not be my last. I am a momma of 5 boys ages 19, 14, 10, 9, and 7. There are those days when yelling seems to be the proper response to their unbelievable ability to generate noise, yet I know The Lord is not well pleased when I yell. I needed this reminder again today. Thank you for your transparency. as moms, we can. Feel like we are the only ones who struggle. Not So!
I am copying the verses you listed to have as an easy reference guide for this season of life. Thanks again:)
It is so hard to be heard over them, isn’t it?! Praying these verse pop into your head and just the right times – same thing I’m praying for myself 🙂 And so glad to meet you! Thanks for coming by!
This is what I needed today. Thank you for compiling this.
You are so welcome, Tamara!
I didn’t see every comment, but the Child Training Bible is very handy for these kinds of circumstances.
It is really amazing – a valuable resource to me even in the few short months we’ve had it!
I read this the other day but I came back to it today because, well, I needed it. Thanks for providing these resources for us mommas.
You are so welcome, Kristin! I think I need to write them down for myself, but I am so glad they are blessing others as well!
Thank you for allowing God to use you as an example and an encouragement to all of us. God bless you and your boys 🙂 and do you mind sharing your prayer app? Sounds like a tool I might need! Thanks!
It’s called Prayer Notebook! There is a free version and a paid version. I tried the free version first and loved it so much I bought the full paid version – and I almost NEVER buy apps! Hope that helps!
I love this post and it is just what I needed today. Went somewhere with the kids after church and I am still so irritated with them. They were disrespectful and way too silly for the place we were at (a hospital). Thank you for the reminder that I need to pray and I love the suggested verses. Please continue to share your thoughts along these lines.
It’s so hard when they have so much energy, isn’t it?! I’m still working on this and leaning on Him and these verses more than ever!
Dear Erin,
I have been looking for scripture passages to pray for my disrespectful, misbehavior, verbally abusive 13 years old son. I think your post is very good. I pray that it will work. Thank you for sharing.
Martha
I found your blog at the recommendation of the Facebook group The MOB Society (Mothers of Boys) – I wrote down all the verses you mentioned instead of printing them so I would consider then more and I posted them in the kitchen to read in the morning. My 5 and 7 year old boys deserve to see their mom turn things around for the better – out of desperation I have turned to God to help me stop yelling because now they have learned to do it too. I have “liked” your Facebook page so I can have all the support I can get as reminders because like others mentioned this isn’t really something I talk about with people because it is too embarrassing – I had no idea so many other mothers were in the same situation and thought I was just an out-of-control frustrated person who doesn’t have her act together. I would rather face criticism of people knowing I have a problem yelling too much than try to pretend there isn’t a problem – I can’t fix it alone – I have tried for years and I am ready to do something different to see results. My husband and I do not attend church but sometimes I go with my oldest daughter (I have 23 and 21 year old girls from a previous marriage) and we decided we will start bringing the boys with us too
This is right on time. I am a single mother of two boys ages 16 & 9. My teenager pushes me to the brink of my sanity and I call on God often to bring me back. I admit that I yell so easily and frequently and he calls me on it. I reign it in and try to explain to him, I yell because we seem to be caught in this hamster wheel day after day, year after year. I try to change but I feel that my son does not. Our Bishop has preached to us “that if you are NOT willing to change then you will ALWAYS get what you’ve always got” I quote this to my son often. I know my son is not “bad” that he is just dealing with the angst of being a teenager in these times.
I thank you for the scriptures and will use them often.
Peace & blessings