There are words everywhere.
Billboards. Magazines in grocery store checkout lanes. People holding signs by the side of the road. On the channel guide.
A whole lot of words I really don’t want my children to see.
But there they are. And I have one fluent reader and one early reader.
Both are curious and inquisitive and lots of questions are asked.
Poverty I can handle. We’ve had conversations about homelessness. Faith differences have been discussed.
But there is one question I am very thankful has NOT been asked as of yet…
Mommy, what is abortion?
No, I’m not writing about abortion today.
This is about explaining the hard things to your children. It is weighing heavy on this mama’s heart.
Last year, as I drove our preschool carpool every Tuesday morning, a group of people gathered in front of the future site of a Planned Parenthood. Most of them were just standing there praying, but there were always one or two signs about babies dying or using the word “abortion.”
There is my {at the time} five-year-old in the back of the van, with those words in plain sight. I prayed every week he would not see them. He didn’t. Thank you, Jesus. I started taking a different way to and from preschool on Tuesday mornings because I couldn’t handle the thought of him asking that dreaded question.
But I know it won’t end there.
My thoughts:
My six-year-old and four-year-old do not need to be burdened with some of the horrific realities of this world just yet. I realize I can’t shelter them from all worldly things, but my first grader should not lie awake at night thinking about babies being killed. He already worries about people in storms and not having homes and being sick. Abortion should not even be on his radar.
I wish I had a solution, but all I know to do is this:
PRAY.
I pray that my boys’ ability to read will not lead to the processing of information way over their maturity level.
I pray that God will protect them from harmful and obscene words that are out of my control.
I pray for purity of mind and heart for them.
And I pray that God will give me the right words when the hard questions come.
*****
How have you handled the hard questions with your children? What do you do with topics that are beyond their maturity level?
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
Erin: I have had the abortion conversation with Lydia. I obviously, did not explain it in detail. But I did tell her that some doctors will help moms kill their babies before they are born (OMG, it sounds horrible in print!) but I promise it wasn’t as horrific as I thought..and she didn’t understand it in the detail that I know it. (Oh, I just remembered why I told her about it–b/c when she was like 1yo I took her to a Right To Life memorial & was showing her pics the other day.) Similar to how the crucifixion at Easter is not as horrible for her as it is for me–she can’t understand it’s magnitude.
Anyway, there are some other things she’s asked about that I have not told her about and I took a page from Corrie ten Boom and gave an example her father gave her when she asked what “sexual sin” was…
He asked her to pick up his too-heavy-for-her suitcase. She tried and couldn’t do it. He picked it up with ease and said, “There are some things that are too heavy for your heart and mind. Let me carry them until you can manage them.” He said it so much sweeter than I could, but when I told that to Lydia, she snuggled right up to me and understood that I was protecting her heart.
HTH!
a
Wow! What a great illustration! I will definitely use that one! Thank you Amanda!
I completely understand what you are saying. My oldest is 5 and has been reading away for a while and is very good with phonetics. Even though she attends an amazing Christian school that we’re blessed to be able to send her to, there are books that are made for older children or even adults and books made for younger children. My biggest worry is that we won’t have age appropriate books for her advanced reading level. If you ever have any suggestions I would love to hear them!!
Thanks for this post!
Jennifer – You must check out Sarah Clarkson’s “Read for the Heart” for reading suggestions. Lots of classics and wholesome books listed there! It has been a blessing to me as we pick books for Big J to read and to read together!
We have had similar issues, not with reading but with events and conversations. Living on the compound at a mission hospital tends to lead to lots of exposure! First, pray and trust. While we want to protect our children to unnecessary exposure, I had to accept that God is in control of their circumstances as well. Just like I trust Him with their personal safety, I had to learn to trust with emotional safety, etc.
I try to talk to them about things that are going on or that they might overhear. I just talk generally, not with lots of details. But I try to make it a conversation so that they can feel free to ask questions. And we’ve talked about the considering source of information, asking myself and my husband or another trusted adult if they have concerns or questions.
Overall, I try to give them information that is appropriate to their level and that will keep lines of communication open. I’m not sure how I do, though!
They see animals and children being verbally abused, hit with hands or sticks, starving children- it can be pretty intense.
But even in the US, I’ve seen similar types of things (abuse, not starvation) at Walmart or the grocery store, so it’s not just this culture.
As far as abortion, I’ve never thought about sheltering them from the knowledge. I do have a problem with having lots of medical conversations in the house about sex, STDs, types of abuse, graphic descriptions, and sometimes crude jokes. People forget that our 6, 9, & 12 yr old kids don’t need to hear that!
At least a positive is that we don’t have billboards, no TV. At least I don’t have to worry about that!
Wow! I love your thoughts, Anna! Doing my best to pray and leave it in God’s hands! Thanks for sharing!