If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that Erin’s sister recently got engaged. Well, I have a sister, but she is already married. I have no brothers, and my sons are a long ways away from getting married. This is all to say that I have advice to give, and no one to give it to. So consider this my post, as I give advice, even though it’s my sister-in-law and her fiancee. Below is my advice for marriage. Some of it I have gained from friends, some I have learned the hard way, and some of it I learned from my amazing wife. Below are the top 5 things that every married person should know.
1. Your wife/husband comes first. Always. Aside from God, once you get married, there is no one more important. NO ONE. Not your job, your friends, your parents, not even your kids. This may seem easy, but it’s not. Life pulls in so many different directions, but your spouse always comes first.
2. When you fight (you will fight), you have two options. Talk to God, and talk to your spouse. Do not talk to your friends, your parents, or anyone else. Now this may seem harsh, but trust me, it does not help to talk to someone else, because they will take sides. Taking sides is not good.
3. You will probably lose some of your friends, and this is okay. My best friend told me when I would get married that I would lose my female friends. I told him that was ridiculous. But trust me, this is a good thing. You don’t want the temptation to talk to a close friend of the opposite sex when you have problems. See #2 above. Keep close friends of the same sex, and make time for both of you to see your friends. It is vital to have best friends besides your spouse.
4. The wedding is about her. Completely. She will want everything to match, everything to be perfect and wonderful and like a fairy tale. You will not remember these details by the next day, but you will remember that she was happy. This is the most important thing.
5. Never talk about your wife/husband negatively in front of anyone. This may be the most important thing you can ever do. Not in front of your parents, not in front of your spouse’s parents, and not in front of your friends. This will create trust issues for your entire marriage. Erin knows I will never talk about her negatively, and even though I have messed up many things, this is one thing I will never do.
I love you Erin.
Congrats Megan and Nick. Now listen to your brother-in-law.