Women are uniquely gifted in the area of multi-tasking. And we are quite proud of this “gift.”
Drinking coffee while talking on the phone, preparing supper and sending an important email. And don’t forget kicking the ball back to the kiddos who keep sending it into the kitchen. Over and over again.
Surely nothing could go wrong there. We are making our lives BETTER and more efficient by doing all this at once.
Aren’t we?
Multi-tasking has always seemed like a badge of honor to me and doing many things at once usually felt REALLY good – in one hour, I could check several things off my list and that was an accomplishment.
I’m not sure when this feeling shifted, but I no longer find multi-tasking quite as rewarding as I used to. I’m finding it to be quite the opposite in most situations.
I may have started feeling some conviction in this area quite a while ago when I realized that my children were having to say my name more than two or three times to get my attention while I finished up an “important email” and stirred some chili on the stove. They just wanted to show me a new creation they had built, but I was missing the moment and dampening their excitement.
But I think the realization fully hit me while in a conversation with a friend.
I missed an important sentence in a discussion with this friend about her current struggle. I missed it because I was distracted by two other tasks I thought I could handle discreetly while still fully listening to my friend. And in missing this key detail, the advice and encouragement I offered to follow-up were not quite on base.
Relationship failure on my part. Moment missed.
Multi-tasking has been stealing some of my joy.
{Please don’t mistake this statement as me saying there is no place for multi-tasking. I still find it useful in some situations, but MUCH less than previously.}
How can multi-tasking steal joy out of my life?
The joy is stolen when I am doing so many things at one time that I am unable to enjoy the moment. And most of that joy is stolen in the context of relationships.
Multi-tasking as a wife can lead to less communication with the hubby.
Multi-tasking as a parent can lead to the kiddos fighting for my attention or being somewhat unattended.
Multi-tasking in my home can lead to a less-than-ideal home environment for the whole family – clutter, disorganization, and so on.
Multi-tasking in other settings – with friends or relatives – can lead to others feeling less important than the “other things” you are trying to get done while with them.
And it can be very hard to de-program the lifestyle of a proud multi-tasker. {I’m there right now – trust me.} There is a sort of “high” from being able to juggle several things – but it cannot compare to the joy of living in the moment with those around you and cultivating those important relationships in your life.
My challenge for you {and myself} today is to evaluate just how much you multi-task during the day, particularly in the presence of others.
Don’t eliminate it all together – doing several things at once is NECESSARY at times. Just put it aside where you can, especially where it is affecting meaningful connection with others and stealing that joy.
Don’t let your innate ability to multi-task be the reason you miss out on life as it happens around you!
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Are you a chronic multi-tasker? Have you managed to strike an appropriate balance in this area? I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this subject!
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
Oh my goodness, did the Lord ever lead me to read this today. I am the queen of multitasking in my house. You see, I am totally task oriented, and the more tasks I’m accomplishing, the better person I am, right? {Wrong.} My poor kids. They have taken a video of me having a conversation with them, but never taking my eyes off my computer screen.They follow me room to room as my attention is divided between them, the dishwasher, the laundry, my windex bottle… Today that STOPS. Today I will let them know that THEY are the most important thing to me, and I will show them by giving them the focus they deserve. Thanks for tweeting this… So glad you shared what was on your heart! Jules
YES I am a serial multi-tasker. As a single mom there’s always way more stuff to do than I can get done so I try to do 50 things at once. I usually end up exhausted and cranky so I’m learning to do things more slowly.
This is something I’m trying to work on right now. To be aware and available to celebrate my boys’ accomplishments each day…to be aware when they are calling me to show my some new activity discovered. It is so easy to get caught up in the urgent and miss the truly important moments of life.
Yes…maybe I multi-task…says Latrice as she shuts down the computer and gives her kids the full attention they deserve…
Needed this! I started noticing this when I would call for Molly and she would reply “in a minute, I am talking on the phone and emailing daddy…” Wow! She clearly learned that from me! Great post, Erin!
I tend to multitask a lot, especially since I have 3 kids. But recently I’ve been trying to cut back. I realized that I’m much less patient with my kids when I’m being pulled in different directions. It’s difficult to not fall into multitasking, because on my to-do list there is always more to do. Then there are the things that I want to do.
I put up a quote that says, “I can get more done if I focus on one thing at a time,” beside my desk. Of course, I’m still working on it.
I do like to multi-task (I plan on multi-tasking here shortly as I cut apples for apple chips & watch tv…does that count?). And I think it’s useful when I listen to a book while I do dishes so I hate dishes less LOL But I totally understand what you mean when you’re to be listening to someone about something important or even unimportant but you’re to be part of a conversation and you’re missing out. Or like you said about your kids…how often do I do that? all the time. thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to tune in to one thing at a time.
love this! thanks Erin. i’m excited about this series.
I used to pride myself on being an efficient multi-tasker. That might have worked in the professional world when I could walk away at the end of the day and not worry about the juggling and balancing until the next morning. Then, I became a mom… There is no walking away and if I drop a ball while juggling there can be far reaching consequences that I can’t get away from by being fired! It has been a slow process, but I am creeping away from multi-tasking and trying to be more present in each task I perform. Being present in the moment allows me to build relationships and actually enjoy the task at hand instead of blowing mindlessly through my day!
oh, multitasking. it’s both my secret weapon and the bane of my existence. i’m sure we were wired for it to an extent–but with today’s technology i think we can take it way too far.
My children have often expressed frustration at being unable to capture my FULL attention. I need to work on this.
This entry really struck a chord with me and I have tried numerous times to share the link on facebook, but it just won’t post. Any suggestions?
Thank you for sharing this. My husband has mentioned something like this to me just recently and this post is just confirming it. I definitely need to slow down and take some things one at a time. I am loving tshi 31 days meme!
Thanks for this! This is such great perspective. My multitasking really ramped up last year when my twins were born, but I have seen the effects of it being misused.