The other night, I could NOT fall asleep. At all.
And when I finally headed to bed, I lay in bed crying my eyes out.
Because of this post.
And this post.
Also, this one. Mixed with some tears of joy.
And because of these beautiful, haunting pictures from my wonderful friend’s recent mission trip to Guatemala.
I could NOT. STOP. CRYING.
Add to that this beautiful post this week about being sent forth to “be a bridge” and God is breaking my heart.
Making me want to DO SOMETHING.
Stretch, get uncomfortable.
See what He sees.
Love like He loves.
This is how my heart feels.
Do you know how my mind feels?
Frustrated.
When I had the money, time, freedom to have these experiences, I thought it was a lovely idea, but my heart was not truly open to it.
And now, as a stay-at-home mom to two young boys, as the wife of a med student, those ideal conditions are not a reality anymore.
But my heart has been flung WIDE OPEN. Convenient or not.
Ugh.
So I’m taking this frustration and this newfound broken heart to Him, knowing that He sees my heart and has a plan.
And trusting He will do SOMETHING through this willing soul.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27
*****
An incredible group of bloggers will be heading to Guatemala with Compassion International this September – won’t you follow their journey with me?
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
You know this is SO close to my heart as well. I enjoyed our chat the other night. You are one precious lady, my friend. Lets chat again VERY soon about this same subject.
I know God will use your broken heart in some way. Thank you for sharing. I need regular reminders that God calls me to use the things he has given us not just for me, but also for the least of these.
Girlfriend. I feel you. With every trip report from a blogging trip w/Compassion my heart is broken anew. I feel the same way—I want to do something so hard it hurts. I want to be broken AND love it! When I went to the Dominican with World Vision, I got some new clarity–that my hard thing was to do MORE with my kids–not more stories or crafts. But MORE to raise them to love and honor the things of God. To help them SEE the reality that I saw. To raise kids unencumbered by their wealth and affluence. This is so hard b/c it means I have to be unaffected by my wealth and affluence. It means I have to do MORE hard things on purpose. It’s frightening. But I want it.
so beautiful and I feel the same. God is using the poor to rescue us from wealth. It’s is good.
Oh man, I know just what you mean! That achey painful feeling in the chest of a heart that wants to bust out with all the hurt there is in the world and grow a pair of legs to walk across an ocean and help first hand. And you know what? I think that’s exactly how God wants us to feel. And then he reminds us we don’t need to cross an ocean to get started. Sometimes we only need to cross the street.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with us!
Lisa-Jo
I too have had a heavy heart about many of the same posts you mentioned and also after reading Radical by David Platt.
I know that God wants me to do something about it! I am trying to figure out what that is and what that means!
You aren’t alone!
Such a powerful post Erin! In the right time HE will do something through your beautiful loving soul!
Lovely post! We just started sponsoring a child through Compassion.
Mmm, those are delicious times for me. Wrenching, yes. But kind of like churning up the ground so seeds can take root and flourish. Revel in it and continue to seek where God is leading, friend. I look forward to hearing what comes of it.
I can identify. I would love to be in a position to pick up some of the weight that others carry. It breaks my heart to see hurt and not be able to make it go away.
I haven’t even read the other posts yet and my eyes are wet with tears! In 1999 I went on a mission trip – then I was more excited for the fact that I was going to China and Tibet. I’d see the Great Wall and the palace that the Dahli Lama lived in. It wasn’t until recent months that I have come to a realization of what the trip really meant for me and how it has touched my life.
Now, I’m in a position similar to you – I’m a stay-at-home mom with three young kids. I can’t leave and I can’t go to places that I’d like to help. Instead I continue to support the organization that I went with and continue to help them in any way I can – be it raising awareness through social media, writing posts about my trip and other things.
Looking forward to reading all the touching posts!
Thank you so much for this inspiring post and for linking to the others. It’s people like you (and all of the others who commented) who make us wonder how we can find even more ways to live out our mission statement of “Changing Education for the Glory of God.” So often we get so focused on offering home education for people who live in the states and forgot about so many children and families who aren’t even getting clean drinking water around the world.
Thanks so much for this.
Ryan from Alpha Omega Publications.
Beautiful post! May God use your words to make a difference, at a time with that might be all you have. May He be glorified through you and your blog! ♥ Michelle
SomeGirl added this to the Best Of Link Up this week @29lincolnavenue and I can see why! So glad she did!
And I have the thought, that God wants your heart more than you money. See, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills….but hearts? Well, they have to give Him access. And with yours flung wide open, the possibilities are endless!