There is a lot of talk everywhere I turn about being “real” with another and I am ALL about it. When the life you live in front of others is different than the life you ACTUALLY live, there’s a problem. Showing a “perfect” life to your friends and readers and co-workers may make you look better, but it won’t make people like you more. In fact, putting up a perfect facade will most likely push people away because no one can relate to perfect.
I have actually had people say the words, “Your life is so perfect,” to me before and it made me upset for two reasons.
- My life is NOT perfect.
- I don’t want it to ever come off like my life is perfect.
Here’s where I get into a dilemma.
I am an extrovert who likes people and sharing life and wants people to like me…
AND I want other women and moms and Christians to know that I struggle with the same things they do…
BUT I don’t want to come off as a complainer or downer…
AND I don’t think everyone needs to know ALL of the mud and slime I’m working through as I walk with Jesus…
So…
Where do I draw the line?
How do I “be real” with others, but not dwell on the yuck?
How do I show the world the countless ways Jesus has blessed me without coming off as having a “perfect,” unrelatable life?
And what about building up and protecting my family and friends with my words – does choosing to talk only positively about them make people think all is perfect?
This is what I’ve come to as my answer to this conundrum:
When I write here, there is no false front being put up. I’ve written about my struggle with yelling and shown you my dirty dishes. I’m keeping it real here.
But I also feel like this is my place to celebrate the blessings of God, especially our families, so that’s where my focus is going to be! I don’t write a whole lot of deep posts about the hard stuff because that’s just not me – just ask anyone who has met me in person! I LOVE a good, deep talk with friends {small talk is NOT my thing}, but I am generally a pretty positive person all round, so what you read here is what you get in real life.
I have plenty of days when my run didn’t go as well and the kids wouldn’t stop complaining about chores and the little one is STILL sick – those days DO happen. Just yesterday in fact.
And the negative was all I thought about, until God sent The Hubby and a good friend to basically say the same thing – “Yep. That stuff stinks. I hear you. But it was just one day. And a lot of things you are upset about are not in your control. And God still loves you and He is GOOD.” {my own paraphrase}
So that’s where I’m dwelling. Not in the perfect life, but in the perfect God.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. ~Philippians 4:8
And if anyone approaches me with that dreaded line about a perfect life again, I know just what to say…
I'm Erin, a wife, boy mom x 3, writer, and runner in Nebraska! I'm excited to share all my favorites relating to faith, family, fashion, and fitness in this space! Enjoy! 
Good morning, friend!! Thank you so much for this post! I’ve struggled with some of the same things myself. For the last 4+ years, I’ve been going through a incredibly difficult season, however it involves others and I don’t feel comfortable sharing that in my online home. If I were sitting down for coffee with a friend, it would be an entirely different story. Being real online is SUPER important, but it’s also important to be discerning in what we share! I love your positivity and have cherished your friendship since we “met”!
I love this Erin. I really want to champion being real and I love how that seems to be a theme for many these days. (It could just be what I’m choosing to read but it seems like it’s more prevalent.) You’re right that it’s a bit tricky to be able to admit the yuck but not go too far and still bring it back around to Christ and not come off as still having it all together. I’m not sure if that properly gets across what I’m thinking, basically I just want to say AMEN to all you’ve said!
Its easy to get sucked into believing that the people you read about online have”perfect” lives. We are in the middle of our own mess and we see a small window into your world. But we have to remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You are a wife and mother who shares the same struggles we all do. Thank you for pointing us to Jesus as you share glimpses of your life with us. I can be a negative Nelly and I love your upbeat attitude.
i like real women.
I totally agree with you. I know my life isn’t perfect. I do try to be real, but I also want to show that even through those rough times, I am counting my blessings, trying to stay positive and focusing my trust and faith in God. Love your new saying! It definitely speaks how I feel! 🙂
I love your answer to that dreaded question! I’ve been there. This exact fine line has been on my mind so much lately – how do I be real without complaining? I learned a few years ago that the less I complain the more I see blessings and appreciate what God is doing right here in my imperfect life. I get what you’re saying, and I’m so thankful you said it.
I struggle with this because my husband is gone SO much (160 days last year). Sure – I could go on and on about how unfair and hard it is, how depressed I can get if I allow myself. But really, who wants to read that? Besides someone who wants to wallow in pity. I’d rather be a cheerleader and point to a GREAT God than shine the spotlight on things that are not going to change or I have no control over.
God calls us to encourage one another! You’re doing great friend.